'PRIMETIME PORN BBC CALLS 'A DELICIOUS TREAT'… MOST GRAPHIC SEX SCENES EVER ON BRITISH TV,' screamed the headlines when it emerged that the Beeb would be showing French drama Versailles a couple of years back.
The show might have been a bit saucy – including full-frontal nudity and (we quote) 'a Queen with a penchant for dwarves' – but was hardly the first show on British TV to flash a bit of skin. In fact, a few home-grown programmes over the years have got attention for being too rude to watch on the bus:
1. Queer as Folk (1999-2000)
Channel 4
Queer As Folkis an absolutely brilliant, must-see series, but it's also very, very naughty. Groundbreaking in its representation of gay sex, the series was eye-opening in more ways than one and probably enlightened several of its fans, too.
The very graphic scenes (including Aidan Gillen's character Stuart teaching Charlie Hunnam's Nathan certain bedroom-based techniques) won 160 complaints from viewers... especially because Nathan was only meant to be 15 in the show.
2. Tipping the Velvet (2002)
BBC
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Well, Tipping the Velvet caused quite the stir when it was first broadcast in 2002 and still sticks in our minds as one of the most controversial shows ever to grace the airwaves. Based on a Sarah Waters novel, the coming of age story follows Nan, who falls in love with a 'male impersonator', but it got a lot of attention for its saucy scenes… and its use of dildos.
Obviously, the Daily Mail was outraged, but other critics praised the 'smashing sets, lovely costumes and lashings of lesbian sex'.
3. Bouquet of Barbed Wire (1976)
ITV
If you think TV these days is saucy, just tune into 1970s drama Bouquet of Barbed Wire, which had it all – infidelity, sexual jealousy, sadomasochism and even a sprinkling of incestuous desire, because why the hell not? The dark erotic thriller had viewers scandalised, but 26 million of them still tuned in. The perverts. It was remade in 2010, but by then it didn't feel quite so shocking.
4. I, Claudius (1976)
What was it about 1976? There must have been something in the water, because not only did viewers lap up Bouquet of Barbed Wire, but they were also treated to I, Claudius. It might look on the surface like a respectable historical drama, but I, Claudius certainly had its filthy moments: from orgies to a moment where a prostitute is challenged by Claudius's wife Messalina to see who can bed the most men in one evening. How did they get away with that?
It also had a young Patrick Stewart, who is, of course, pure sex.
5. Lady Chatterley (1993)
BBC
If you've ever read Lady Chatterley's Lover expecting loads of wild sex scenes thanks to that obscenity trial, you'll know it's actually not all that interesting and has loads of boring paragraphs about mines and industrialisation and stuff.
So thank God for the BBC's adaptation, which starred sexy Sean Bean and sexy Joely Richardson doing sexy things. It's actually quite tame, but it still got the BBC in trouble with the Broadcasting Standards Council for airing sex scenes that were 'too long' and 'too rough'. We think we need a cold shower.
6. Secret Diary of a Call Girl (2007-2011)
ITV
Ooh, Billie Piper, you are awful. This ITV2 series – based on the famous blog by Belle de Jour – focused on a young graduate who had a secret life as a high-class escort. That premise was automatically going to be a bit saucy, and sure enough there was plenty of action – from threesomes to whips (and before long there were articles claiming that the show was inspiring young women to supplement their income by becoming call girls). It's not the most shocking of the shows on our list but it definitely caused a stir.
7. Skins (2007-2013)
E4
Teenagers? HAVING SEX? Skinswas made for drama, thanks not just to its teenage characters' hedonistic partying and drug use but also because of their filthy on-screen sexual awakenings (see also: Sugar Rush).
We can be proud that it lasted so long despite the shagging, masturbation and the like, though – the US adaptation only managed one season after advertisers pulled out because of all that naughtiness.
8. Footballers' Wives (2002-2006)
ITV
Footballers' Wiveswas renowned for getting saucy. It wasn't just about melodrama and ridiculous storylines; rumpy-pumpy made such a regular appearance that during one of the many controversies you could practically see the ITV spokesperson's eyes rolling when they said: 'Everyone knows what Footballers' Wives is like. It has been sexually explicit from the very beginning.'
With scintillating scenes that got eyebrows raised and apparently 'more naked breasts and full frontal nudity than any other mainstream ITV drama' at the time (according to a Guardian report), it was absolutely dripping with raunch. Mind you, one gay sex scene was cut for being too sexually explicit even for Footballers' Wives. We can't even imagine what that was like…
9. The Crimson Petal and the White (2011)
Origin PicturesBBC
Based on the brilliant Michael Faber novel, The Crimson Petal and the White is a BBC miniseries that didn't have much choice but to deal in sex – it's a story with a woman working as a prostitute at its heart. But while there was plenty of graphic sex and full-frontal nudity (from both Romola Garai and Chris O'Dowd), it wasn't exactly what you'd call erotic, given the seedy, filthy feel of the whole thing. You know, unless that's your bag.
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Two women from different worlds are brought together by strange circumstances and forbidden desires in this period-drama. Sue Trinder (Sally Hawkins) was left on her own as a young child when her parents died, and she was forced to fend for herself, living on the street in the company of thieves and confidence men. Sue is given a chance to reform when she's taken in by Mrs. Sucksby (Imelda Staunton), who wants to keep her off the streets, but Sucksby's friend Richard Rivers (Rupert Evans) is familiar with Sue's old circle and lures her into an elaborate criminal scheme. Sue is to get a job as a maid to Maud Lilly (Elaine Cassidy), a young woman who lives with her uncle (Charles Dance) and will claim a large family inheritance when she marries. Sue's role is to act as confidante to Maud, so when Richard attempts to court her, Sue will help convince the young heiress that marrying Richard is the right thing to do. Richard's scheme is to marry Maud, have her sanity called into question, and then take possession of her fortune after she's committed to an asylum, but as Sue becomes close friends with Maud, she begins to wonder if she has the nerve to go through with the plan, especially when her feelings for Maud begin to extend beyond just friendship. As Sue's choice becomes nearly unbearable, fate steps in and she discovers all is not as she'd been led to believe. Fingersmith was produced for the BBC, where it first aired in the spring of 2005. ~ Mark Deming, Rovi